Life continues to be a roller coaster. And it’s my own fault.
We are all responsible for our own realities. The past and future do not exist, there is only now. Right now is all that matters, and we’re responsible for it, for what happens, because we create it.
I like roller coasters, but I don’t want to live on one.
I am missing my lady love terribly. I knew this would happen even before she came to visit. I knew we would have a good time, and that it would be wonderful. I didn’t expect it to be so completely over-the-top wonderful, and I didn’t expect I would be hurting so badly after she left. Wow. Love really is a powerful drug.
Some random thoughts:
MySpace.com sucks. It is the ghetto of the blog world. It is the ultimate low rent district full of hookers and sleaze. I have a place there only because everyone else there does, and when you speak with others, they say the same thing. Xanga is like a high rise luxury apartment compared to MySpace’s cardboard box in a piss-smelling alleyway. I mean, my God. Yuck.
Pluto has been demoted to a dwarf planet. I think that is hilarious.
Even though I have a few beefs with Google thinking their shite doesn’t smell, I still think they rock, especially with how they open up all their online goodies to let people play with them. Here’s one in particular, where someone turned Google Maps into a flight simulator game: http://www.isoma.net/games/goggles.html
Hope everyone has a happy weekend!
Here are the things that are troubling me at the moment:
- My love is far away, and I don’t know when I’ll see her again.
- My job may well end soon and I’ll be unemployed.
- My older daughter is coming back to live with me again, and I don’t have anywhere to put her.
- Money is getting tighter and tighter.
- I have lost the will to write my fiction. I lost my patience for it.
- I need to get new tires on my car.
Here are the things I am thankful for:
- I have found my true soul mate.
- My younger daughter is going to school and getting better.
- For the time being, everything is okay.
- I have found the meaning of life itself.
That last one might seem a bit bizarre. Can I share it with anyone? No, I can’t, because it would be meaningless to anyone else. We all have a different answer to the question: “What is the meaning of life?” You have to find your own answer, and it will be unique to you.
I think the fact that I’ve found the meaning to life is a major reason I’ve lost interest in fiction.
And, no, I still don’t take myself seriously. I’m just feeling a bit blue today.
The end of a pleasant few days…
With the end comes sadness. Sadness at the leaving of a loved one, sadness at the tests that will besiege her and I, sadness at the length of time until we will be reunited.
The challenges have already begun. She has hers, and I have my own.
Outside my window I hear thunder. Time to post this and be off.
I slept in this morning, whilst it rained outside. Rain that this kingdom desperately needs. Alas, it had stopped before I took my morning air, but the smell was still fresh. This Lord loves the smell of fresh rain. My daughter didn’t want to walk with me, so I took a lone treck through the village to the nearby shop of round cakes-with-a-hole. One for me, two for her, and I ate mine on the way back. Paid for it too with a sugar rush.
Now I have a lazy sickness afflicting me, and I find it hard to do anything on my list of chores. “Finding Nemo” is on the idiot box, so I watched the first part of that before wandering off.
I hate the idiot box.
Counting the days until my true love returns, this is a time of longing and peril. I exist one moment at a time.