Back in 1984…

The comedy show was funny as hell.  Two comedians came on before Will Durst
have no clue now who they were … then Durst came on and stole the show.  Karla was laughing and hanging onto me so she
wouldn’t fall off her stool.  Her father
was on the other side of me, buying drinks for everyone.  Then when the show was over, Durst gets down
off the stage and walks down the center aisle right toward us.  I thought, wow, I can introduce Karla to
him.  That would be so great!

He’s still heading toward us.  He’s heading right toward me.  I’m smiling and looking at him.  He’s smiling and looking back with unfocused eyes,
walking quickly, walking right at me.

Walking, almost trotting, right at me.

Right into me.

He slams into my knee. 
Smack dab into my knee as I’m sitting there on the stool, and the part
of his anatomy that smashes into my kneecap are his testicles.  Wham! 
And then he staggers back a step, bending over double, and I realize
with horror that I’d just kneed Karla’s favorite comedian in the balls.

“Oh shit!” I yell.  “Oh god, are you okay?”

He stands up straight, grin plastered on his face, and
says, “I’m fine!  I’m okay!  Sorry!”

I can tell he is not fine.  He is covering up like a pro, but he is in
pain.  “I am so sorry!”

“It was me. 
I’m sorry.  Couldn’t see because,
came off bright stage, it’s all dark. 
Not your fault.”

“Um,” I stammer, “this is Karla, it’s
her 21st birthday.”

“Happy birthday Karla,” he says, and gives
her a hug.

[this is an excerpt from something I’m writing right now, and it really did happen]


13 thoughts on “Back in 1984…

  1. LOL…good stuff. Glad he took it so well, since it was his fault, hehe.And at least Karla got a hug out of the whole deal!

  2. Hey, every comedian needs his balls bounced every couple weeks to keep him humble.RE NaNo: DO IT. You can spend 90 fewer minutes sleeping for one month, right? Or let’s see, what else takes ninety minutes other than writing 1600 words? Commuting, if you do that – but you can’t stop that unless you have a teleportation device. Hmmm…let’s see…Grey’s Anatomy and Lost on Tivo: blip through the commercials and it’s only 42 minutes apiece. What else? A long run. Cooking a meal, eating,then cleaning up. Washing, drying,folding,and putting up three loads of clothes. If you have little kids, Three shows of The Wiggles. A telephone conversation with your Aunt Betty ( the stinkin’ rich one with the moustache and no kids of her own so you stand to gain if she croaks). Surfing the Net. Playing with your kids (Nope, that’s gotta stay or they’ll end up like Jason or Freddy). “Going to bed early” with your wife if you have one (No, that’s REALLY gotta stay or you’ll put your fist through a wall and she’ll OD on chocolate).Now look: I’ve spent eight minutes trying to convince YOU to do Nano again and this is my first time.Plus, I’m really OLD. You don’t want an OLD LADY to beat you, do you?RYC: An American Dominican sister with a PhD in organic agriculture is sent to an experimental farm in County Wicklow, Ireland. She falls in love with people and the little village of Kellgarren in the Wicklow Mountains. And yours?

  3. This entry cracked me up! RYC: Thanks for commenting on my jewelry post. You are so sweet. Hey, do you know where I can get a copy of the coffee poster you have on your site? I LOVE that!!!! What would even be better is that same thing on a coffee cup. Have you seen the cup that says, “Instant human, just add coffee.” That is one of my favorites…

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