How do you feel about divorce?

This is the featured question today on Xanga.  It’s a loaded question too.

How do I feel about divorce?  I feel sad about it.  I feel sad about the people it hurts.  I feel bad for the kids who suddenly find themselves joining the “Banana Splits” club at school.  I feel sad that there’s a firestorm of blame thrown in every direction.

How do I feel about divorce?  I feel liberated by divorce.  I feel liberated from a marriage I should have never gotten into.  I feel liberated that I got my life back.  I feel liberated that I feel like I’d awoken from a ten year coma, and discovered to my shock, that there still is color and joy in the world.

How do I feel about divorce?  I feel bitter about divorce.  I feel bitter about all the wasted time and energy spent trying to fix a failed marriage.  I feel bitter that it kept me tied up and out of circulation so that I had to wait until my God damn 40’s before finding the woman who I should have married in the first place.  I feel bitter that I didn’t get to spend all that time with her.

How do I feel about divorce?  I feel hopeful about divorce.  I feel hopeful that my love will make it through her own and be free.  I feel hopeful that getting out of an abusive marriage will liberate her the way it did me.  I feel hopeful that her kids will grow to see and be influenced by a healthy relationship, instead of modeling their lives after a dysfunctional one.  I feel hopeful that from the ashes of two failed marriages that one absolutely fantastic one will rise like an amazing phoenix to soar and shine.

That is how I feel about divorce.

   

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9 thoughts on “How do you feel about divorce?

  1. I feel like I am going to weep reading your words…but then I found the beauty there at the end and I as wellwish the two of you a long life full of laughter and understanding.

  2. Not sure what to think about divorce.  I think you state in very transparent language what it’s all about from someone who has real life experience around the subject.  So I think I will defer to your assessment.

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