We were in a very lazy, drowsy, happy nap yesterday evening, and I murmered, “The ice storm must be here. I hear the ice on the window.”
“Mmmm,” LadySavina replied.
After several minutes of happy cuddling silence, LadySavina sits bolt upright and says, “That’s not ice on the window! That’s a mouse!”
I sat up and listened, and also looked out the window. No ice storm — the air was clear. I realized she was right, we were hearing a mouse.
I got up, turned on a light, and looked in the closet. A very large and very cute mouse sat there, staring back, looking a bit perplexed. Like it was thinking, “Where did the large hairy naked human come from?”
LadySavina handed me a fly swatter and said, “Terminate with extreme prejudice!” Well, that’s not exactly what she said, but that was the gist of it. The mouse must die.
The mouse said, “Later dude!” and disappeared in a hole in a box.
I pulled the box out and opened it, flyswatter ready, and had to dig through knick-knacks and memorabilia until the mouse jumped out of the box and raced around the closet, finally deciding the only decent place to hide was under a vacuum machine. So as I readied the fatal blow, and started moving the vacuum cleaner to coax it out, I saw it climb UP the vacuum cleaner and disappear. I could only assume it somehow went into the machine, so I unravelled the cord and LadySavina plugged it in.
All the while I’m sitting there bare naked on the cold wooden floor.
The machine came on, and I was ready to swat, hard and repeatedly, hoping it didn’t somehow get past my manic fly swatting and … attack my private parts, or something. But the mouse was nowhere to be seen. I turned the vacuum machine off, turned it over, wriggled it around, and listened. The mouse, I decided, must have been sucked into the bag.
So, instead of dealing with it further, I took the entire vacuum machine and put it outside in the snow.
Later in the evening, after dinner, I go upstairs to brush my teeth, and you will NEVER GUESS what I found floating in the toilet, drowned.
Yes. A mouse! I don’t know if it was the same mouse, or if it was another, but it was freaky.
And now LadySavina has me check every room before she enters. Just in case.