I’m with my lady love now!

It doesn’t feel real.  It feels like a dream.  My mind is also not convinced that I won’t be going back to Texas “after this trip is over.”  Part of me, somehow, has not comprehended this isn’t just another visit.  That this is where I actually live, now.

I’m not in The Loft yet, though.  Everything I own is in a little trailer still hooked to my car, sitting our here on Lady Savina’s farm, because my move in date isn’t until July 1st.  Maybe when I’m …………

The realitor just called.  I can go move in NOW.  So, what I was going to say is, maybe when I’m all moved into The Loft it will sink in.  I’m really here.

After all this time, I’M REALLY HERE.

Lady Savina is very happy. 

Only a few days now until Lady Savina and I are together.

We won’t be living together at first.  Her divorce is still dragging on, and her middle daughter is coming to stay with her for a month.  Until the divorce is finalized I’m still a secret in her life, at least to her older daughters and her soon-to-be-ex.  So I will be right down the road, in a little place I’m calling The Loft — I’ve always wanted a loft apartment, and this is pretty close.  That is, as close as I’m going to get in a little Iowa town with a population of 163.

Our plan is, every morning she drives right by The Loft on her way to work, and so she’ll be picking me up on her way.  We’ll work at the place of many ups and downs, then she’ll drop me off on the way home.  I’ll be a few miles away and we’ll both be going nuts.  So close, so close!  And it will be this way for much of July.  If I can, I’ll try to use these strange nights in this small town to work on my novel.  Who knows, maybe I’ll even finish it.

I have never lived in a town so small that the entire population could fit on an airline all at once.  Small towns are famous for having no secrets. 

This is going to be interesting.

Farewell, My Beloved Brain Cells

Two nights in a row drinking really strong barley wine has left me with noticeable brain damage.

Seriously, the typos are way up, and my sentence structure has gone to hell.  I’m having to rewrite everything four times.

I may have reached the point where I no longer have any spare brain cells.  It could be that it’s time for me to stop consuming alcohol.  Or at least barley wine.

The Wayback Machine

Do you ever go to the Wayback Machine on the The Internet Archives (Archive.org) and check out old versions of websites?

Like, Google when it was in beta?

Or Yahoo in it’s infancy?

How about Xanga?  It went from a mysterious page that didn’t say what it was for, to a site for building your own “home portals,” to a place to build your own “affiliated store,” then changed to a place where anyone could “publish online.”  Funny, for an entire year Xanga had no idea what it was.  It didn’t become a “weblog” until November 2000.

And here is my original Xanga, with some entries from October 2002.  I’d completely forgotten about my blinking self portrait.


People love their stuff.  My kids love their stuff.  I used to love my stuff, too.

When I split with my ex, and we had to get rid of the house, I had to get rid of most of my stuff.  Now, I’m a compulsive collector, so I had a lot of stuff, and I loved it.  But through a lot of soul searching and learning, I figured out something.

I didn’t own my stuff.  My stuff owned me.

I pay for it.  I pay tax on it.  I pay for a place to keep it.  I pay to use it.  I have to make decisions based on the fact that I have all of it.  I have to worry about it when I’m not around.

My stuff rules my life.

So I began getting rid of it.  I decided I want to own as little as possible.  And what I do own, I want it to be portable.  I made some serious changes in my life and my value system so that I, once again, owned my stuff, and not the other way around.

Unfortunately my ex and my kids do not share this new and (in my own mind) enlightened world view.  Through a cruel trick of fate, I ended up with all of their stuff.  Yes, even my ex’s stuff.

And it still ownes me.  Why?  Because I’m too tender hearted to get rid of it and say, “too bad, I got rid of your stuff, I was tired of being responsible for it.”  However, I’m taking steps toward my freedom.  It will cost me in the short term, but I’ll be totally free in the long run.

As many of you know, I’m moving up to be with my love, and unfortunately I’m taking all this stuff with me.  Well, not all, but still more than I’d like.  But my nefarious plan is, when I’m finally up there and settled, I will begin shipping the stuff to them, a bit at a time.

Of course, in only a while, my love and I will be married, and then …………… there’s all her stuff. 


By the way, anyone in the Dallas area need a TV, a VCR, a DVD player, a stand for all of it, or a large sturdy dining table, or a washer and drier?  How about a queen sized matress?  Or a bookshelf?  I’m going to CraigsList all of it.

My Occasional Physical Fitness Program

I have this great physical fitness program that, every time I go through it, I lose a lot of weight, increase my stamina and bulk my muscles up to a respectable level.

It’s called:  Moving.  The routine:  Constant physical exercise in the form of packing, lifting, and carrying.  It’s like going through Army boot camp.

Every muscle in my body is sore right now.  But, it feels good in an odd, slightly masochistic way.  I love the feeling of power when my muscles gain back their tone.  I feel, in a way, like Dr. Banner turning into the Hulk, but minus the green complexion (though admittedly I have split a seam or two in my clothes, usually in the crotch area).  I enjoy knowing I can once again punch my way through a wall, or spitefully smash the hood of a Lexus. 

Though I would never do either of those things.  Honest.  No, really, honest.

I may be a big old furry grizzly bear, but I’m a cuddly, gentle one.

After a long and soul-searching conversation into the wee hours of the night, my love and I decided that she would not take my last name after we’re married, and she will not take my name and hyphenate it after her current last name.

No, we decided it would be best if we both changed our last names to a brand new one.  Our very own last name.

And the name we chose is…


Jerry and Tracy Aardvark.

Nice to meet you!

Six Question Thing I got from Saadia’s

1. What I was doing 10 years ago:

I think I was getting ready to move to Texas.  Either that or I’d already been here a year.  I don’t remember!

2. Five things on my list to do today:

  1. Go see Bill
  2. Have roast beef and chutney for lunch (Danielle brought the chutney back from South Africa)
  3. Record a new episode of “Don’t Quit Your Day Job” with Melanie
  4. Spend time with kids
  5. Do some packing

3. Things I would do if I were billionaire

Live in a nicer place, feel financially secure, and give a lot of it away.  I’d buy cars for lower middle income single parents so that they don’t have to make a car payment … that would make a world of difference in a lot of people’s lives.

4. Three bad habits of mine:

  1. Eating peanut butter out of the jar
  2. Procrastination (I’m working hard on this one)
  3. Worrying (working on this one too)

5. Five places I’ve lived

  1. Douglas AZ
  2. Tucson AZ
  3. Stockton CA
  4. Berkeley CA
  5. Dallas TX

6. Five jobs I’ve had

  1. Cleaning out railroad box cars
  2. Vacuum truck driver
  3. Computer Technician
  4. Technical Writer
  5. Corporate Webmaster


A lot happening in the life of Jerry…

  • I started the clock ticking by handing in my 30 day notice at my apartment complex.  I’m taking a break right now from packing.  Lady Savina, here I come!
  • I closed down the SF website I’d been running.  I accomplished what I wanted to accomplish with it, learned what I wanted to learn, and now it’s time to move on.  I did renew the domain for another year, so as to showcase all the wonderful stories we published.  If you love reading a really good, strange, fun story, go check them out here:  DarkEnergySF.com
  • Melanie got me into podcasting and it’s really fun.  Also, I’ve discovered I like listening to podcasts more than I enjoy radio or TV (yes, more than TV)  The two I’m currently involved with are:
  • If you were enjoying my serialized memoirs, I’m continuing them on a site over at Blogger:  NefariousJerrius.Blogspot.com
  • I have been a bad novel writer.  Bad!  Not a word on my current manuscript in weeks.
  • My older daughter is still in Africa.  She’ll be home by Wednesday.
  • I took my younger daughter out on an all day date yesterday.  Lunch, a movie (Iron Man, which of course rocked), ice cream (at Ben & Jerry’s), a sushi dinner, and a Taiwanese movie at home called Shutter.  Spooky creepy movie, the good kind without a whole lot of gore.

That’s probably enough details for today.  Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Well, back to packing.